My stupid mouth…

…has got me in trouble…I’ve said too much again.

This is a catchy John Mayer song, but it always makes me slightly uncomfortable because it hits so close to home.

Do you know me?  Do you know how much I talk?  It’s a problem.

Case In Point:


I came across this old photo, circa 2004.  Looks like dinner at Derrick’s parents’ house. (And for the record, I was doing the whole Meg-Ryan-shag thing at that time, but the humidity in Seaside didn’t cooperate.  Please don’t judge–I’m pretty sure I was actually really hot back then.)

Consider the body language:  I am wide-eyed and tense, apparently driving my well-versed point home.  Derrick slumps in his chair, hands folded defiantly, grimacing and obviously disgusted with whatever it is I’m trying to convince him of.  Basically it’s a photo of what is, to this day, our dinner conversation every night.  Immortalized on film.  Awesome.

I think Derrick’s expression in this picture sums up the way most people feel when subjected to one of my lectures.  When I feel strongly about something, I will talk loudly.  I will talk over you.  I will use hand gestures and biblical references to illustrate extremely important points, like how the re-make of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was a tragedy, that high schools should do away with Phys. Ed., and how Mexican pastries never taste as good as they look.  (No offense, Mexico.  But they don’t.)

Which is why, I believe, my husband has “encouraged” me to keep up this blog.  He knows that my obnoxiousness must be channeled somewhere, and better to you, my friends, than to him.  Can I blame him?  Just look at his weathered brow in the picture.  I think the man’s been through enough.  As have my parents, my siblings, all of my friends, my book group (they get the worst of it), my kids (they were hosed at birth) and, most likely, my three faithful readers.

I’m sorry.  I’d like to say, along with John, that I’m never speaking up again…but we all know that would be disingenuous.  I’ll keep speaking up, and my stupid mouth will keep getting me into trouble.  But at least on this blog, you’re spared the hand gestures.  As for the biblical references?  You just wait.  They’re comin’.