Yesterday I went swimsuit shopping. After trying on multiple swimsuits in multiple styles in multiple dressing rooms with multiple
fat mirrors, I decided that I have simply been born in the wrong era. Really, I think there may have been a mistake in Heaven. Because I’m telling you right now, I’d give up facebook, epidurals, diet soda and the nineteenth amendment if it meant I could show up to your pool wearing this.
Now that’s what I call a swimsuit model.
I think I could have rocked the 1920 beach scene.