This weekend, I experienced my own version of an absolutely perfect Saturday.  It did not include shopping, dining out, or suddenly and inexplicably losing ten pounds (although I wouldn’t have required an explanation, had that happened.  I would have been content with the happening itself.)  Rather, it consisted of:

1.  Going for a long “run” (term used loosely) with a good friend down by the river.  We become very smart when we run and manage to solve all the worlds problems as we go.  If only people would listen.

2.  Coming home and taking a long shower, followed by no hair styling and no makeup application.  (And no bra, if you must know.)

3.  Staying home and scrubbing my house all day.  It’s almost clean, people.  One day.


4.  Going to Target with my twelve-year old daughter; buying body spray for her and (more) sunless tanner for me.  Clean house, orange skin…ready for spring, baby.

5.  Stopping for frozen yogurt on the way home, wherein I engaged my new practice of layering, thus enabling me to enjoy multiple candies atop multiple flavors.  Example:  Tonight I started with a layer of Chocolate Mint yogurt on the bottom, then topped that with a layer of crushed Oreos, then topped that with a layer of Dutch Chocolate yogurt, then topped that with a layer of Reeses Peanut Butter cups.  See, we can’t be mixing Chocolate Mint yogurt with Reeses Peanut Butter Cups–that would be two great tastes that do not taste great together.  But I wanted both the Chocolate Mint yogurt and the Reeses  (and the Dutch Chocolate yogurt and the Oreos), so I had to improvise.  I guess that’s what we low-fat-yogurt-eaters do.  There’s a cost to living such a healthy lifestyle, you know.  It’s all about choices.

And that was it.  Saturday perfection realized.  Now lest you are puzzled by how a woman of my sophistication could be satisfied with such a simple day, let’s consider what my Saturday, for once, did not consist of:

1.  Driving my kids anywhere.  This is the first day since 2009 that this has not been required of me.  So noteworthy is a day without me shlepping the brood around in my “champagne” (old-lady gold) minivan, I decided to write a post about it.

2.  Grocery shopping.  When that chore falls on a Saturday, there is no greater weekend buzzkill.  (Does everyone else detest grocery shopping as much as I do?  Why haven’t we talked about this?  And how can we make it go away?)

3.  Attending my nine-year old son’s basketball game.  I love my son, and I support him in his dreams.  But he’s a nine-year old boy, playing basketball (term used loosely) with other nine-year old boys.  And I pretend to like watching the games, okay?  So stop dialing CPS and get on to number four.

4.  Helping someone move.  Admittedly, I haven’t spent a Saturday helping someone move in at least six years.  But that’s not the point.  The point is that today was yet another Saturday in which to be grateful that I didn’t have to.  Since that fateful Saturday six years ago, I’ve woken up every Saturday since with praise on my lips and a song in my heart for the fact that I don’t have to help someone move, ugh, again. It was so much work the last time I did it.  (Which, come to think of it, was also the first time I did it.)

5.  Wearing a bra.  (See above pp., #2.)

Now before you judge My Life and the possible lack thereof, let me ask you this:  when was the last time your house was clean, your sweet-tooth satisfied, and your Girls (we’re not talking about your daughters here) relaxed and free, all in one day?

The best part was that when Monday dawned bright and sunny, I was able to spend my time writing about housework instead of doing housework. Come to think of it, when I do housework, I think about writing, and when I write, I think (and then write) about doing housework.  Maybe it’s time for a new hobby.

Do any of you fish?